Wednesday, 6 May 2015

"Relationship with Life and Others"

It's a beautiful thing to have lungs that allow you to breathe air and legs that allow you to climb mountains, and it's a shame that sometimes you don't realize that that's enough.

Our happiness not only depends on the nicer aspects of life but also on our ability to make peace with disappointments. People often disappoint us, so does life. Making peace with disappointments does not mean we submit to whatever is wrong or unfair. It simply means we take responsibility and give our best to improve the situation, knowing that the outcome is not in our hands.
In the face of these disappointments, we learn how to look at whatever we feel is wrong as wrong and yet don't judge the people or life in general, if we can also appreciate the goodness, we can be fairly happy.

"Relationship with the Greater Self"

---Meaning of life

Lifhas no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer. ― Joseph Campbell

Sometimes it is not obvious to us what will give our existence meaning. Often we delude ourselves into believing that personal achievements will give us 'meaning' only to discover that even a huge amount of success, money and fame fail to give us what we are looking for.

Everyone adds their own meaning to life. The meaning of life is never universal. The meaning of life is never complex. The meaning of life is actually quite simple to think about. Many people help the needy. Others play sports. Both activities add meaning to those lives involved. 

'Meaning' can be found when we do something for the greater good. Some find it in giving back to society, for others it can be being there for their family, friends, community or country. It gives us a sense of belonging, a sense of connection. When we know we are contributing to something bigger, and if we are in awe of it, then the mundane problems become less important and we can deal with personal disappointments much better.

Purposes change, but the overall meaning of life will always stay the same. 

Monday, 4 May 2015

Stay Happy!

It is not at all necessary that we always stay happy.
Just as a car can go off track if the driver is not attentive and wouldn't be able to bring itself back on track even on a straight road, our mind too can go off track and create complicated, depressing thought patterns. The trick to happiness is to be constantly aware of our thought process to keep realigning ourselves to the road of happiness.
As a saying goes--- happiness is not a destination or something to achieve, it is a path to be. Happiness doesn't mean there is no sadness, disappointment, hurt or pain, rather it is a more wholesome state where despite our negative experiences we are more centered and at peace.
If we have a positive image of ourselves which says we are lovable and okay as we are, we can be happy and joyful on our own. A healthy relationship with the self is a key factor in staying happy.

"Relationship with the Self"

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of your life.How we value ourselves largely determines how we value life in general. We tend to depend on external situations, events and others to define us, or to give us value. Like, a girl's criterion for valuing herself was based on how much she was needed by her partner. If a new situation or an event makes one believe  that one has no significance or is not needed anymore, it can trigger personal insecurities and emotional stress. Learning to value ourselves irrespective of the situation is a very important skill to stay happy.

We often have a one-line script running in our head, based on the conclusions we have drawn from our experiences. These scripts are grossly generalized and often they have a prophetic undertone--- 'nobody loves me and nobody will love me again', 'everybody who i am close to will leave me and go away', 'people use me and always discard me when they are done', 'whenever I try hard to achieve something, it always slips away'.
These scripts, if not changed, become self-fulfilling prophecies. Unconsciously, we end up following these one-liners even when we are trying to prove them wrong. So, the person becomes possessive and clingy, eventually leading to the script being reinforced.
If we have a positive image of ourselves which says we are, we can be happy and joyful on your own. We become less dependent on situations or others to validate us. Need for external validation comes from our inability to validate ourselves. A healthy relationship with the self is a key factor in staying happy. You're probably well-aware of the fact that creating a good relationship with yourself doesn't always come easily. But don't give up. When it's difficult, remind yourself of how important it is, of how important you are. The more you can improve your relationship with yourself, the more you can improve your relationship with others. 

The relationships in our lives are intricately woven together, each of them tied to one very important element: you. So don't neglect that vital relationship with yourself. After all, it's the one relationship you've had and will continue to have for the rest of your life.